The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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