Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
