Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
