he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
