I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
