all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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