im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
