can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
