Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
porn star boner night. come get it.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
