she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize