The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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