I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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