I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
