There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
