you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize