I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
