WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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