We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
stop calling my apartment porn island.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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