I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
