the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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