You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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