I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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