I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
