K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
