ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
