I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
