Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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