I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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