you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.