Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I did the walk of shame to another booty call

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I don't think that should turn me on, but it does

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  (616): I did the walk of shame to another booty call (269): I don't think that should turn me on, but it does http://tfl.nu/0yjb
  Replies (11) Good night (2515) Bad night (646)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?

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  (770): Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette? http://tfl.nu/jrlp
  Replies (88) Good night (1430) Bad night (10534)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.

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  (647): You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened. http://tfl.nu/1lek
  Replies (32) Good night (18519) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch

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  (954): my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch http://tfl.nu/nq1q
  Replies (12) Good night (3159) Bad night (1134)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.

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  (206): He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants. http://tfl.nu/v3dq
  Replies (51) Good night (8738) Bad night (1282)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement

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  (443): i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement http://tfl.nu/03ue
  Replies (8) Good night (3979) Bad night (1311)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during

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  (541): I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during http://tfl.nu/1ah0
  Replies (4) Good night (969) Bad night (3165)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.

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  (403): Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season. http://tfl.nu/yv9x
  Replies (9) Good night (2513) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Whatever you gave me is making me lactate

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  (918): Whatever you gave me is making me lactate http://tfl.nu/rku9
  Replies (8) Good night (831) Bad night (2876)
• Favorite

  (984): View more from North Carolina

  i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.

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  (984): i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight. http://tfl.nu/cncx
  Replies (22) Good night (4376) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.

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  (618): Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me. http://tfl.nu/97jo
  Replies (5) Good night (1830) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch

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  (815): Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch http://tfl.nu/nhct
  Replies (3) Good night (816) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.

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  (301): I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had. http://tfl.nu/epuv
  Replies (5) Good night (984) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.

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  (215): There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her. http://tfl.nu/lhzd
  Replies (11) Good night (1336) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.

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  (843): If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala. http://tfl.nu/anbg
  Replies (0) Good night (771) Bad night (266)

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