I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
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I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure