Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(907): View more from Alaska

He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.

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(907): He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED. http://tfl.nu/5p57

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.

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(479): Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships. http://tfl.nu/he2q

Replies (69) Good night (1724) Bad night (2690)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night

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(410): Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night http://tfl.nu/ayrv

Replies (34) Good night (1190) Bad night (6171)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.

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(403): I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like. http://tfl.nu/sasf

Replies (25) Good night (9262) Bad night (957)
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(317): View more from Indiana

so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you

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(317): so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you http://tfl.nu/m0v0

Replies (31) Good night (8021) Bad night (1327)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face

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(856): my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face http://tfl.nu/f36p

Replies (3) Good night (1123) Bad night (3407)
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(905): View more from Ontario

the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.

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(905): the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking. http://tfl.nu/6bmb

Replies (28) Good night (5473) Bad night (2455)
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(510): View more from California

Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.

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(510): Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day. http://tfl.nu/kbev

Replies (7) Good night (1392) Bad night (2612)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.

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(313): I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents. http://tfl.nu/eaix

Replies (6) Good night (3072) Bad night (871)
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(415): View more from California

just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.

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(415): just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid. http://tfl.nu/grub

Replies (9) Good night (2657) Bad night (549)
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(569): View more from

I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome

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(569): I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome http://tfl.nu/60qi

Replies (6) Good night (1325) Bad night (420)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.

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(541): Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground. http://tfl.nu/5mkq

Replies (1) Good night (823) Bad night (455)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.

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(336): He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time. http://tfl.nu/dr9e

Replies (8) Good night (1123) Bad night (453)
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(718): View more from New York

You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.

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(718): You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning. http://tfl.nu/qv31

Replies (3) Good night (768) Bad night (249)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.

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(973): So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door. http://tfl.nu/82na

Replies (0) Good night (346) Bad night (249)

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