I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
