I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
