its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize