Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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