RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
