Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i need some magic done to my vagina
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
