You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
