shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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