how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
