How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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