Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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