tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
