I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
