So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
