Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
