If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
