i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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