Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
is wine microwaveable?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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