SEEEEXXX PLEASE
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
