I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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