my soul wont recognize me after tonight
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
