Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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