I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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