What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
