I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
