I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
