I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
