i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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