just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Your cock deserves a montage
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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