Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Shame is for Republicans.
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