Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
