he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
