Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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