he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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