the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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