I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
