yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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