Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize