Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
